How many church people does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one.
Hands already in the air.
Roman Catholics: None.
They use candles.
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Baptists: At least 10.
One to change the light bulb, a committee to approve the change. Oh, and also provide a casserole.
Lutherans don’t believe in change.
One to change the bulb. Nine to attack the preacher, because someone’s grandmother gave that bulb to the church!!